There’s a lot I’m finally starting to forget about you,
And I’m grateful for that,
But the things I still remember
Are tearing me apart.
I remember our first date,
And how we both insisted it wasn’t one.
It was the middle of June,
But you wore your nicest sweater,
And held every door open for me.
The weight of your arm draped around me
Sent butterflies through my stomach;
To this day I don’t think you know
How I was blushing in the dark shield of the theater.
I remember holding your hand
In the middle of the airport
And never wanting to let you go,
Back when we were still
Playing chicken with our feelings,
Because we both feared the uncertainty.
I blinked back tears,
And so did you
As you disappeared beyond the loading gate.
I remember our first kiss
In the middle of an October night,
Back when we still thought
We had a shot at this.
I couldn’t remember a time
Where I wanted anything more
Of your lips on mine,
Or your arms around me.
I really thought I was lucky to have you.
I remember you saying you loved me,
Couldn’t picture a life without me.
You talked about our future
And carefully maintained our bucket list
As we counted down days
Until I’d be in your arms again.
You wanted this no matter how much you say
We never meant a thing.
You said it and meant every word at one point.
So don’t you dare say
We were just some stupid fling.
You may not remember anymore,
But I do.
And some days it all hits me at once
To the point where I can’t think of a time
I’ve ever felt more pain
Than my heart shattering again in my chest.
And I believed you,
And I wish more than anything
That I could forget
So maybe I could breathe again.
I just woke up one day
your name no longer
made my chest tremble,
I fell asleep one evening
and my dreams
were free from your lips.
It seemed impossible,
for so long,
and then suddenly -
not loving you
was the easiest thing.
I wish it was this easy(via happy-for-hell)